Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Extra Extra Large

Dear Scooter Pie,
California weather is amazing. It has been 80 degrees and sunny here everyday for the past couple of weeks. I guess the weather's job is to make up for the gas prices. Not only do I sacrifice my savings at the gas pump, I sacrifice my dignity as well, a $60.00 tank of gas for a Jetta sedan makes me feel dirty, rightfully so.

As of today, I am OFFICIALLY a staff member of Barney's Beanery in Burbank! I had to go through/suffer/endure the pain of seven whole days of training, which were concluded today with an extensive menu test that I passed with flying colors. I was given Barney's Beanery study guide that was as thick as an encyclopedia. Unnecessary? Nah. I don't think I have ever studied harder for anything (there's the queu for Uncle Jim's eye-roll). On the upside, we have QUITE the Gluten Free menu! In consideration of your love for "cheese sandwiches," you would have LOVED Barney's Gluten Free menu, including the beers. On the down side, I developed diabetes, heart disease and breathing difficulties from merely reading the menu. Some of the menu items whose descriptions caused me to nearly lose my lunch:

The Juicy Lucy Burger: Two hamburger patties with cheese cooked into the beef patties, topped with chili, bacon, onions, sour cream and a "whole lotta love!"
Pigs in a Blanket: Three pancakes rolled with sausage patties or links or three strips of bacon, two eggs, syrup and butter
Potato Skin Breakfast: Potato skin filled with corned beef hash, spinach, cheese, eggs, bacon and mushrooms, topped with chili, sour cream and guacamole
The Sky High Peanut Butter Sandwich: Peanut butter, jelly, marshmallow, bananas, rolled in frosted flakes

...Truly offensive, I wish I was joking.

Apparently, Barney's uses an online database for employees to access their work schedules. Therefore, if we need to drop/pick-up/release any shifts we can do it electronically, which will then immediately notify the other staff members. Upon passing my menu test, the Barney's Beanery general manager immediately informed me that she had recently created a profile/ information update for me on the work schedule website so that I could view my schedule, access staff information, and adjust any schedule requests that I may have. She reiterated, to me, the importance of my contact information being available to my fellow staff members, and then added that she had just estimated my sizing information for uniform purposes. The picture to the right is the first screen I saw upon the "victory" of becoming a newly employed staff member.

What's wrong with this picture?

As long as I can keep you laughing.

I miss you and love you more than you know.

Until we meet again,
Liney


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